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Power of words

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My brain is right not left and im ok with that

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Being a child with GAD part 2 moms turn

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Being a child with GAD

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Being s child with GAD

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Who we are

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Therapy and progress

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Come to me

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Miracle

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This is my family

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This is my family

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Games at home fir fine gross snd spatial problems

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Faith finding her passion

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Faith finding her passion part 2

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God has perfect timing never early never lste

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I promise myself

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The mystery of grace

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The gift of time

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How preemie moms are chosen

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Are the schools letting our special need children down

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Acceptance we are the first step

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The secret

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Gratitude claim the power

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Find your bliss

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Dad's point of View - Center of my universe

I have wrecked my brain for my next Blog, but nothing seem to scream out at me. usually  an event with faith or something i have seen or heard would give me inspiration and i run to the computer and write. So i went to my Husband , who has read every Blog i have done and has supported me so much and is my Best friend and soul mate and asked ' Tell me what you think i should write about, i need inspiration" .

So this Blog partly is my husband take on Faith what he worries about his daughter.

" I want people to know not to put too much pressure on there kids, and that they need to just try relax with them"

My husband a man of not many words, but it is true. Dad's take on finding time to relax with them , try not pressure them too much . Is that not what Dad's are for. I think i am always the one saying to Faith do this, have you done that blah , blah and Dad is the one she has her play fights with, jokes with and generally relaxes more with. I guess we have a balance then don't we. I guess i just stress more about her as i am always thinking, planning and organizing each day.

I love the way Reggie is able to just be relaxed around her, joke with her and well he has a way of working her up as well, but they have there own kind of relationship and i am thankful because she will grow up knowing Dad will always be there for me and . I am thankful my husband is at every psychologist appointment, We discuss everything and is involved. Although we play different roles in Faith life we both have an important place in her life and her Dad i feel is vital for her well been as a person and one day as a young woman as well.

I do however have to remind him now and then  "Hey i have not given her anxiety tablet today, so tone it down lol " 

I think faith just wants our support and help and even though we may give it in different way's we both contribute to helping her in any way we can.

I think it takes a rare man to stay and be a real dad especially under different circumstances when your child has special needs. So i take a bow to all Dad's who have stuck around, who have joined in, participated and been a contribution to there child's special needs. You are an example of a true man.

To Faith 

my beautiful daughter, Dad loves you and thinks you are the best thing since Rugby. Even though he may tease, you, discipline you , or say very little you are the center of his universe and never doubt that he loves you more than anything in this world.

Mom

Quote:

"I do what I can to try and get by. I do the best I can under the circumstances and HOPE that I 'rock.' Although most of the time I feel I’m still a very long way from being able to claim any kind of trophy, I’ll never stop trying to be a better father, that much I’m certain of."—Ken Lilly, Blogzilly

How little do we know or do we care to know

Is the social networks not wonderful thing. Facebook, google+, twitter i have connected with so many old friends from school and even way back when i was very young.  I recently spoke to him just hi how is it going the general stuff and i mentioned he must check out my Blog's and what it is all about. He mentioned how he too has anxiety as a child and had dyslexia and how he has struggled over the years dealing with it all. I was so shocked all the times we spent together and laughed and joked i picked up nothing. Nothing was said and nothing was asked. I feel quite sad that as friends do we not anymore go the extra mile to find out who our friends really are, what there fears, hopes and dreams are. or is it all made up on just socializing and keeping to subjects that are not too deep. I feel if maybe i had known about his special needs i could of been more of a better friend as we grew up together and maybe could of helped him during difficult times.

As we grow up i have learnt to choose my friends well , when we younger we are so more self conscious of people liking us and fitting in and the older you get, you get more self confident and frankly you either accept me or as i am or don't bother.  

I think it is important for parents to not hide or shy from there kids that have special needs that there child should also not be scared to mention it and embrace it , especially to those friends that do not go to a special needs school and let her realize early who values her as a friend and accepts her with all her special needs she may have.. It is important for her to grow up with the right group of friends , friends that will support her, understand her, protect her and stand by her when she goes through tough times. I am thankful Faith is an extrovert , i am also thankful she goes to a special needs school where kids are not judgmental and all know they are there for a reason. I am thankful she has the rare friends that are in mainstream who don't judge her either but just stand by her and try and understand. Growing up nowadays there is so much pressure and kids need to be confident in themselves and love themselves with all there faults and realize that a true friend will stand by you regardless what.

I alone have learnt over the years who becomes an acquaintances and who becomes a friend that i can speak about Faith freely without them feeling weird or uncomfortable because they are not in the same situation. I have learnt not to shy away from my child's special needs but to be open and honest. I guess that's why i started these blogs as well, it is easier to write and express  how you feel than to explain it all the time and this way my family and friends get to know the real me , the good days the bad days, the days of frustration and the days of triumph. 

My hope for faith is that she will embrace her anxiety, her adhd, etc and not ever feel like she is less than anyone else, never feel she has to prove herself to her friends because they can do things she cannot. . My hope for faith is that as she grows up she will find those few but precious friends who will love her, cherish her,and support her when times get dark and uncertain, cause face it most kids talk more to there friends than there parents as they grow up. I never want her to feel she cant just casually talk about it and her friends feel uncomfortable.

The gift of truly understanding your friends needs either as a child or an adult i think many lack because everyone looks on the surface instead inside the soul. I pray you have your few that see you as you with all your faults and still love you for you, because regardless we all are not perfect and have no right to judge anyone in this world. 

Letter to God

I was watching a movie today with Faith called Letter to God. A boy Tyler was diagnosed with cancer couldn't be more than 12 years old and how he started writing Letters to God. The postman who at that time didn't know what exactly to do with them and so kept them . Didn't have the heart to throw them away. Through this boys journey of just expressing himself through writing a letter to God and posting it every day, it ended up changing a whole community, kids, grown up, friends and most of all his family and the Postman himself who was going through some very rough times. He touched many peoples lives when he left to be with God, but his message will live forever..

So too we with our Blogs, our messages, each of us going through our own journey my Blogs i write to you i pray that i can reach many and touch them in a special way. Although i am writing about Faith journey and the journey we are on with special needs you realize the whole point of life is to be able to touch others lives. For when we gone one day we will not be remembered for how big your house was, or how much money you had, but for your heart your soul, the lives you touched while you were a live. 

I always wondered why we had to have a premature baby , have her almost die go through things emotionally physically and mentally i am sure we all ask the ultimate question sometimes  "Why God why!" 

Although i only started my blog 11 years after Faith has been born, i feel this is maybe what i am meant to do. Faith journey, her life her special needs her triumphs and disappointments we share with you to encourage, inspire, give you strength and make you know you are not alone. I know some people are private and don't talk about themselves and what goes on, but i feel we are all connected in this world in someway or another and although we Blog every day or once a week we have no idea all the lives we may of touched by opening our hearts up, baring ourselves, putting our selves  out there to the world. Tyler got to know all the lives he touched before he died by just a simple Letter to God.

M y Gift to you and i pray it has already happened with the previous 28 Blogs i have written, but i pray that my Blogs will touch all your lives in whatever journey you are going through, not just having a special need child. We all can touch and share and write our own Letter to God cause in that way what we are going through we don't realize, but we are healing our hearts at the same time, finding hope when all seems lost, finding strength when are body feels weak, finding Faith when we feel like we cant believe anymore. One story, one letter, one person just putting themselves out there can touch another life and they may never know.

Dear God

Thank you for my miracle child Faith, thank you that she survived, so i may tell her story her triumphs her disappointments, her journey. I pray that through my Blogs that i may touch many and that they may encourage, strengthen, inspire and make others bare themselves as well in order to touch others.


 Write your own Letter to God http://www.lettertogod.net/guestbook.php

Spontaneous decisions

I was sitting at my desk working and was over hearing my boss talking to our rep where she was talking about sending her child to High school. The different schools they went to see, why they never chose that one, why this one is great cause they have lots of sport etc etc. I felt happy for her and at the same time i felt a sadness run over me knowing i will never make such a casual decision Faith. I will never  have so many choices to choose for my child, decide who to say no or yes to. I have to fight to keep my child's education going when she turns 15. I have to find away to keep her educated as they feel she is not academically minded and must rather do a skill. I will not have so many choices to choose from and have the luxury of saying no to some and yes to others. I will have to make difficult decision for my child future her education and i cant plan way a head i have to take one year at  a time and see what may unfold.

I sat there trying not to even think so far ahead cause i knew it would just stress me out. I know we all have our own journey in this life, i just sometimes wish Faith's journey was not so complicated and difficult for her. I sometimes wonder if people realize all the decisions they make every day, the quick words they use to make them , how easy it is to come to make the decision, but with a special needs child every little thing you do from the time they are born the games they played, the places they play, the school they go to the sports they may play has a goal around it. Nothing is just for fun. You try and throw that in somewhere. The toys are educational, the play areas is to help motor skills, the school is special needs, the sport is also to help muscles, balance, motor skills etc. Everything is like a well thought out plan, research to find and buy and organised. I wish we could of just bought a stupid toy just for the fun of it. But when you have a special needs child you always thinking one step further, every play time is almost like therapy time but with Mom and Dad. 

I hope parents appreciate the random, out of the blue decisions they are able to make just for the sake of it or just for the fun of it. How precious a gift they have . How walking in a toy store you not reading behind every box to see if it will help with spatial skills, or fine motor skills. To be able to have choices of schools, and your future is an open world, wherever you want to take it.

Faith we will have to aim for as far as she is able to go, we will push her and guide her and have to help her. we will have to make some hard decisions, she will have to accept some difficult decisions  Although i feel she is able to accomplish anything she puts her mind to, it will  not be easy, it wont be spontaneous and there wont be a world of anything and everything for her to choose. It is a gift to be  able to just live life without any major obstacles and yet kids still just take that for granted. I think if they had just 1 week of a special needs child's daily struggles they would turn that corner so fast there attitude and want for life would change drastically.

I hope parents and kids really get to appreciate the freedom of the choices they have for the decisions they have over there lives. Be appreciative of the gifts you have that you take for granted each day. Our kids with special needs don't have the luxury of a world of choices or opportunities and the decisions we make for our kids have to be the right one, have to be the perfect ones and they are not random, spontaneous, they are researched and planned and stressed about.

Confidence, Trust Belief

Some quotes to encourage

1. “The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears.” ~ Ellen Goodman
2. Children remind us to treasure the smallest of gifts, even in the most difficult times.” ~ Allen Klein
3. “I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work and my God.” ~ Helen Keller

FAITH

Greek Meaning: 
The name Faith is a Greek baby name. In Greek the meaning of the name Faith is: Confidence; trust; belief.

I chose my daughters name well didn't I. It is funny how life works,  i actually chose her name even before she was born or before i was having problems with my pregnancy. Maybe God was trying tell me something.

Confidence

I pray her name meaning will come to life, she has grown so much in confidence over the last 11 years, but it didn't start that way. She was an emotional wreck angry, full of tantrums and frustration until we moved her to a special needs school and slowly they had to build her confidence up again as it seemed it was totally robbed in mainstream to the extent that she was petrified to do something wrong she would get panicky and want to go to the toilet. We eventually had to explain to her that it is ok if she doesn't get it right, she wont be sent out the classroom or be embarrassed in front of the class. She now slowly with support has gotten better. 

Trust

I think special need kids find it very hard to trust people, because they been let down and broken down so much by people and are emotionally so scared to show them selves freely that they lack the ability to truly trust someone and know that they will catch them when they fall. Even Faith she knows we love her and are proud of her but with her general anxiety disorder she never trusts that we are ok if she doesn't get great marks or get first in a race we constantly have to repeat it over and over to her. it is like this anxious little man sitting on her shoulder always whispering negative things and we have to sit on the other shoulder whispering positive things to counter the GAD all the time. I guess kids always want to please there parents and imagine how difficult it must be for a special needs child when they find life difficult in general they must constantly think they are never good in anything. But we need to teach them to trust that we will catch them when they fall, that we will be that warm blanket to curl up in and we will hold them tight when nights are dark and tears want to run down there face. They need to take that leap.

Belief

I pray that as Faith will grow she will believe in herself, in her abilities, in her soul and heart and believe that she has a place in this world, regardless all the silent disabilities she suffers with. That she believes that we will always encourage and guide her and that she will believe that her life journey is already an accomplishment considering she could of died. I pray that she will believe that life is beautiful and she will break through all the negativity and words like she cant do this and she cant do that and believe that she is an awesome, beautiful, sensitive, loving child and she has a lot to offer this world.

As a parent of a special needs child

I have confidence in my child Faith

I have trust in my child faith

and I believe in her

these 3 things i need to teach and tell her each day so she never will forget the amazing journey she started and that she will accomplish what God has in store for her regardless her special needs. 

Have Faith in your kids too.

We are parents with special powers

"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change."
Barbara de Angelis

As A parent of a special need child, I realize every day that we have the power in our hands to make or break there lives. Everything we do, and say is impacted on there progress and enrichment in life. Every breath we take, moment we waste, we miss out on getting them that little further.

Power is a dangerous thing we need to make sure we use it wisely and for the right reasons for ourselves as well for our kids. For honorable reasons , not selfish, not to make our stress less or time easier.

P  - Protect and persevere always
O - On every occasion spend moments of value
W - Will power to go on
E  - Encouragement at all times
R  - Right choices for your child

Power - The ability to do something or act in a particular way, esp. as a faculty or quality

We define there quality of life, how they will see the world, friends, learning, obstacles, challenges, love. We have the power to show them that things are possible regardless the obstacles in the way. That the reward is greater cause of the difficulty in obtaining there goals. That life is still beautiful . We create our own world of happiness, and belief in the impossible

I know many see me as the Mom with a child with many disabilities. But i see my girl who will give me a hug not because she may need it then but because she sees i may need it. I see my girl laughing to to the music and the joy of dancing and just letting go and having fun. i see a girl that is grateful for parents that love her and think she is the best daughter in the world. I see a child that has shown me how moments count , cause time flies and how every achievement is a great step in the right direction to her future.

We both have taught each other about life, love and special moments and the power life brings and can take away. The power of never giving up when it seems impossible and the power of a hug when the bad dreams come from the anxiety. The power of unconditional love for your child to keep them going when things get a bit too much. The power of accepting them just the way they are, because they are perfect in your eyes.

We are parents with Special powers . 

The Silent Disabilities

This is my beautiful daughter Faith

I know for the last 2 and 1/2 months have been talking about her. All the trials we have overcome from her been born premature, the adhd, the anxiety, the learning disability, spatial problems, low muscle tone.

Tell me what do you see.? I see a beautiful, extroverted, strong willed, lovable, sensitive, passionate child that has been on deaths door and has overcome obstacles that many kids have never endured, feeling kids have never felt and fears that children cant imagine. 

The silent disabilities that no one can see, because all the disabilities are mental, psychological and on the outside she looks like any 11 year old of her age and because of that people cant understand parents that are over protective, worry more, have routine and are stressed about every little thing. Because they don't deal with the days that she is so all over the place you don't know what to do to keep her busy, or that she gets anxious and upset cause the cat is outside and something is going happen to him and we have to calm her down, or when she has tests and studying is longer and more draining cause she cant understand it and grasp it as easy as every one else and every ounce of energy you have you give over as a parent to help her remember, focus, concentrate, be calm, not stressed and still wake up in the morning and go to work and work a full day and smile and go on .

Have you heard people say the word FINE. OMG how i despise the word . All will be FINE, she strong she be Fine. Have you had that.! I literally want to throw something at someone, seriously!.  Until you have dealt with a child with ADHD or has GENERAL ANXIETY DISORDER or goes to a learning disability school and struggles in every subject , or cant skip, , balance or ride a bike or climb or do simple cart wheels because of her LOW MUSCLE TONE. Please do not come and tell me things will be FINE.

Having a child with a silent disability, a disability that cannot be physically seen is very frustrating. People cant relate to something they cant see until i actually have to explain a scenario for them to understand the depth of it.

We do have a lot to be thankful for, please don't misunderstand me, but sometimes i feel like i am on this island all alone and everyone is on some other island partying it up and frankly been FINE , because you the only one that grasps it all. .I stay positive because i have to, i motivate because i must as parent of a special needs child it is what i must do to keep her going and help her to get through life and love and obstacles and all the challenges and help her cope with this all as an adult one day.

My beautiful miracle baby i would not change for anything, she to has taught me about life and what truly matters and to see the world in a different way. All i ask is please don't use the word FINE. nothing IS fine, and nothing is okI it will forever be apart of her and it will never go away, so be careful how you speak to parents with special need kids. Choose your words carefully and if must rather just give a hug cause sometimes we not asking for advice, we just sometimes need some one to listen.

The silence

Im in bed not a sound. Faith is sleeping husband working late tonight, but in this silence I feel I csn breath let go and just be. Our lives are so busy the whole day some of us work somr of us dont but never stopping for one moment always thinking, planning, worried about our kids. In this silence we get to re group and maybe just maybe for 5 min our brains can stop thinking and planning and researching .        
Take a breath for yourself.  Find your quiet moment and just close your eyes and try relax. I know its alot to ask, but it is in those quiet silences we find clarity and peace and strength to carry on
It is in those times when our minds are frantic and cant rest and we begin to just find that we might be looking for , solutions or find acceptance for things our hearts are finding difficult to deal with.  If tears fall so be it just breaathe snd let go and find time for silence. It can renew you in ways you cant imagine.  Remember your child with all these special needs , they needs a parent that is able to find that time for silence, because one day you need to show your child how important that time is to renew there mind body and soul for them to carry on.

Believe that you are the most important person in your childs life. You need to, you deserve to find time for silence so you can go on.

Medication issue Pros and Cons

The morning comes we all wake up, get breakfast ready and always remember faith medication and stand by and watch as she takes it. The same thing every morning. I still get upset at the thought that my child at 11 is on medication that for her to function properly concentrate and not become to anxious a tablet has to help her. Then on the other hand when i see the difference in her and what she can achieve and how she behaves when she is not on it i am thankful. I think there are pro's and cons to everything in life and so too with our kids and there medication. Faith is a handful if she doesn't have it. She so busy all the time, loud and gets irritated and upset very quickly for small things. It is tiring for us and we try and not give her on the weekend even though we know she will be an handful, but we want to give her a break just to be who she is without anything changing her. She not a bad child or destructive just very on the go and i feel if i had 1% of her energy i would be able to get through so much more .

The daily routine for her medication i realize is so important and although we sigh every time she has to take it we realize how it is for her well being and functioning as a person. The day the psychologist told me Faith had to go on anti anxiety medication i actually cried at home . This is not normal it is not the way a child is suppose to get through life, but i slowly had to get use to the fact that nothing is normal or should i say the world's way of normal when it comes to Faith. She doesn't like tablets so i literally have to stand there and watch her swallow it cause i have found a few tucked in the couch. I cant blame her she is wondering the same as we are why oh why must i take this.? 

The Cons

1. She doesn't sleep well - Solution bought a calm CD we put on when she goes to bed

2. lack of appetite - Put nice but healthy and a few not so healthy treats in to want her to eat.

The Pros

1. Performs better at school 

2. Less anxious

3. Not so fidgety

4. Concentrates better

5. Able to function day to day tasks

You see the difference ! there are always pro's and con's in everything in life. The issue is does the pro's out weigh the con's and if so then there is always a way to make the con's not so bad, like us buying a calm CD that makes her relax and fall asleep better and to make sure she eats give her food that she will want to eat. Not to mention good exercise and change in diet. These all go hand in hand otherwise the medication can not work as effectively when you giving chocolate or coke to a child with adhd or coffee to a child with anxiety disorder, Certain foods aggravate the situation.

As i have said before Research to your child's special needs are so vital otherwise your house will be in constant chaos and you will feel powerless and you as a parent need to be in control of the situation and be the one to guide them. I have realized with Faith she gets so use to us sorting things out she gets lazy instead of sorting the problem out.

Please understand one day you will not be there . you need to give them the routine, eating habits guidance and ways to solve problems so they can be functioning , independent young adults in society that are also contributing in society even though they take medication. Anything can be managed as long as it can be managed well and we are the stepping stone for them to know how to achieve these life changes that they will most likely have to use for the rest of there lives..

Welcome to Holland

Hi All

I want you read this first. For a change i'm showing a picture before i write, but after reading i think you get why. Please read first then read below the picture.




Wow is this not the most beautiful words and explanation been a parent of a special need parent. It is all so true that there comes a time that we need to let go off what we thought would happen in an ideal world and realize what is happening now in our lives. For as much as there is so much we deal with we must not forget to enjoy all the beautiful moments and what been a special need parent shows us and we would never experienced it if our child did not have special needs. it is different, it is new , it is a whole new experience and i know i have learned and experienced so much in the last 11 years so far with Faith i would never of experienced and although there has been rough times, challenges and hurdles to overcome i have seen beauty and compassion and kindness and pure joy and happiness and appreciation for life and moments and memories that we all too often take for granted. This picture above i hope will encourage you to embrace been a parent that has a child with special needs and focus on that and not of what could of been otherwise you are missing out on the journey and the wonder and the great gift it can offer you.

"The Most beautiful things in life can not be seen or touched, but can only be felt with the heart."

Another inspirational video by Orla kelly please view and like http://youtu.be/bKzkGTmx_UA

I end with this ':Children with special needs hold the key to the pure joy of what life is all about."

Lonely

Hi All

Been a long week and debated for a while what my next blog was going be about. In my mind I keep thinking about friends and family and understanding and sometimes feel so alone on this journey my husband and i are going through with Faith. I know, i know there family and friends support and we genuinely appreciate it all.  Yes we hear all will be fine, she strong ,but i feel myself withdrawing more and more because I'm so tired of trying explain the magnitude of Faith future that lies in our hands and the pressure to make sure she is able to get there. We take one day at a time , that's all we can do. I'm passed the stage of explaining Faith situation now cause i have realised no one fully understands the strength and the determination and the will you have to have as a parent of a special needs child to keep going each day not sure what else will prop up. 

So Reg and i decided our main focus is Faith and you either with us or you gone, i cant be worried about what other people think anymore or what they say or try and encourage, cause frankly i don't have time, I'm too worried researching ways to help her when she has to leave school and we have to help her continue to study and get an education and she has non verbal handicap and is better verbally and trying figure out how to change things, so she can get an education, get a job, be independent one day. As parents you don't think of this when your child is 11, but for us it is a reality we have to plan way ahead, find out, get info to make sure all this will works out.

Sometimes it can be very lonely, not really having someone understand the enormous emotional, physical and mental drain it takes from you besides working and the normal stresses life brings. I have a friend in Australia her daughter is also special needs and how i wish she was in Cape Town so we can support each other more. It's like 2 lonely souls on the opposite side of the worlds trying to support via every social network cause they know the emotions involved.

You know that saying.' you don't know how strong you are until strong is all you can be' It actually becomes easier not to talk about Faith, not to mention the every day struggles and just rather carry on by yourself cause if only your only stress was my child got a D for a test i would be jumping up and down.

These Blogs actually give me peace and healing and it is the one time i have to myself to shout out and scream my frustration and pain without actually shouting out physically.

I know God has a plan, i know we must believe and we do. I hold on to all the fun and laughter we have and the special moments cause i know those times are the ones that will make our family bond stronger and will keep us going through the days of darkness the ones past and the ones still to come. That's why although been a parent of a special need child can be a lonely journey , i encourage you to reach out to whoever you can and that's why my Blog has become so important to me, the lovely messages , the like posts and the people following me keep me going each day. So thank you and keep reading Faith journey and if i have helped to inspire or help just one child or parent then it has been worth it.

 Please see this You tube video on been a special need parent it is short , but beautiful  http://youtu.be/T7TC7xBjVqE

Progress not Perfection

Progress - Forward or onward movement toward a destination.

Perfection - The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

We as parents of special need kids need to realize that we never aim for perfection but reward for progress for our kids are on a different time line and they will never perfect what they do, due to all the difficulties they have. We need to realize that as long as our child is moving forward, steadily progressing she is accomplishing and making her own life or developmental line and this is enough cause to celebrate. 

We have never ever expected perfection from Faith, all we have ever asked her is to try her best at all she does and if she has done that then we as parents can not ask more. Life is difficult enough without us putting our expectations on them especially seen we are not in there shoes. Progress or onward movement towards a destination that is all they need to do no matter how long it takes is besides the point.

All we can do as parents is steer them in the right direction and i think along the way we ourselves would of progressed emotionally and mentally. I have gained so much knowledge that i never would of obtained having a baby born full term. I have become so more tuned in to emotions and feelings and understanding how Faith sees the world, how she progresses each day that i know when she has had a bad day or a good day, when she has gotten over a fear that before she was too petrified to overcome, when she has struggled with something for so long and then suddenly has grasped it. Every little progress she has made from birth and will continue to make we have acknowledged and praised and it may sound stupid, but for Faith it is the world. Parents acceptance that it is OK to not be a perfectionist in academic results or not come first in a race is a big thing. They hold us high in regard and there anxiousness can stem from that when we put too much pressure on them and they not sure if they can live up to our expectations.

So progress and not perfection because Faith has not realized how her life story who you all read all over the world has already blessed and inspired people to stay strong and move forward ,regardless academic difficulties she has already accomplished so much she just cannot see it yet. We are proud every day that she progresses in the right direction with love and support. 

Please remember not all friends will understand what you go through every day your routines, medication, calm cd, homework time that is tiring , and that is OK because this Journey is not theirs it is yours with your child and people that want to be part of it will either be supportive or move on and maybe that is better.

AS LONG AS YOUR CHILD IS PROGRESSING THAT IS ALL THAT COUNTS .

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.

Benjamin Franklin

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Encouragement - Famous people that had and have special needs

Do not be dismayed. I know getting your kids to adulthood is a full time job and you never know what the outcome will be when they adults one day. But i want to encourage you to believe and hold on to hope , faith and love and know there is light at the end of the tunnel as long as you never give up on your child.

Today i want to enlighten you on some Famous people that changed the world and they had special needs.

I hope there stories may encourage you to keep on fighting the fight and never give up. Our kids need to know we are always there for them.

Alexander Graham Bell –Bell invented the telephone, but struggled with 
traditional schooling. It’s believed that he had some form of learning 
disability, possibly dyslexia.

Napoleon Bonaparte –Napoleon’s hypersensitivity to touch and his military 
strategic genius are two of the many symptoms that have led some modern 
scholars to suggest that he was a high-functioning autistic.

Richard Branson–A billionaire businessman, Branson credits his business 
intuition and unique perspectives to his early struggles with dyslexia, which 
affects the way he visualizes words.

Erin Brockovich–Brockovich is a former legal clerk whose success in 
building a case against illegal groundwater contamination led to a major 
motion picture starring Julia Roberts. Brockovich is dyslexic.

Terry Bradshaw–The NFL host and former player was diagnosed with 
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Cher – Cher is one of the most iconic performers, singers and actresses in the 
world. She has a form of dyslexia that makes it difficult to remember numbers 
or to perform basic mathematics.

Agatha Christie – Christie was the most famous mystery novelist of her time 
and developed a rich writing style that has impacted almost every mystery 
writer of the 20th and 21st centuries. Christie had dysgraphia, a learning 
disability that affected her ability to understand written words.

Tom Cruise – Cruise is among the most recognizable actors in the world. He 
has dyslexia and has spoken publicly about his disability.

Walt Disney –While no hard evidence exists, many scholars believe that 
Disney suffered from dyslexia or a related disorder due to his difficulties in 
school. Disney eventually dropped out of high school and pursued a career as 
an artist.

Albert Einstein– Einstein’s parents once thought that he was mentally 
retarded due to his odd habits and difficulties in school. If he were born today, 
Einstein would probably be diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a mild form 
of autism.

Thomas Edison– Edison is believed to have had dyslexia and possibly ADHD. 
His mother took him out of school at an early age, and Edison was homeschooled. He developed a voracious appetite for reading and made major scientific breakthroughs with his unusual methodology.

Bill Gates – Some autism experts have suggested that the head of Microsoft 

has Asperger’s, although testing has never been performed

Suzanne Somers – Somers had a learning disability which led to poor 
performance in school and an inability to understand written language. She’s 

most famous for her role on the sitcom, “Three’s Company”.

Robin Williams –Williams is a comedian and actor, famous for his roles in 
“Mrs. Doubtfire,” “Good Will Hunting” and dozens of other films. He has been 
diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) which affected 

his education and his ability to memorize scripts.

I encourage you to show this blog to your kids as well, so they may know
 HOPE IS NEVER LOST.

I know there is a place for me somewhere out there.

I am a child with Special needs.

I see the world in a different way, don't Judge me
I am sensitive to things, don't hurt my feelings
I do not understand everything straight away, don't laugh at me
I may not be able to play like you do, don't shut me out
I may not excel academically like you do, don't look down on me
I do fear things that seem stupid to you, don't disregard my fears

Let me show you my world:

Let me show you how i see the world
Let me show you been sensitive is a gift of compassion for others needs
Let me show you that not understanding everything straight away doesn't make you smarter
Let me make you understand that not been able to do certain things is no reason to shut me out
Let me show you that a person is not defined by how well they do at school
Let me show you that if you could feel how i feel when i have fears that you would not call me stupid.

I may be different but that is ok, cause i am taking a slower route on my journey in life and on the way i am experiencing all the things people rush without seeing, feeling and touching each day. I learn to appreciate each day and be thankful for little achievements not just big ones. I have been taught what true love, compassion,care and kindness is and in so doing can give that back to someone else that may need it.  Focus and build on what i can do not what i cant do and accept me and for me as i accept you for you. Because i know

I know there is a place for me somewhere out there.

A Look Inside

A Look inside at been a Special Need Mom

This Blog is directed totally at all the special need mom's out there. We go through each day never knowing what it might bring and still with belief in our heart that we have planted those seeds in our child to help them become the special person God created. That through all the rough days. the tiresome therapies and medication given religiously every day, the hugs and reassurance when our kids get anxious or overwhelmed, the nights the nightmares may hit or they feel like there lives are crumbling we carry on without a word, without any one saying  " You are special". So i am here to tell you that you are special you are also a Gift

Your child is wherever they are because of the tiresome effort and strength and courage you put in every day, waking up and never knowing if it will be a good or bad day. All you know is that you have to get up, smile and continue because that is what Special need mom;s do.

Look in side your self and you will see a strength and beauty you never thought you had, endurance when you felt you couldn't go on and Love that God has blessed you with the sensitivity for your special needs child.

“My mother sat me down and said, ...you are beautiful to me but must know that you are beautiful for yourself. You should also be aware that true beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which means that how beautiful you are to other people is always going to be subjective to who is looking at you at that time, and since you will always be looking at yourself first, you should find your own beauty and feel good about who you are.” She went on to tell me that I needed to take the time to identify those things that I found to be beautiful about myself but also celebrate what I thought was weird or unusual because those were the special things that God had given to me that made me different from everybody else. I learned how to appreciate, embrace, and enhance those special things so that they would shine rather than be hidden...We learned to love and identify with what made us uniquely beautiful.”

Strength

“During times of great vulnerability and challenge, we are ironically called upon to access tremendous mental strength, hope and faith often against a tide of our own despair. It’s not easy to do this, but it is vital to our ability to support our forward momentum, lest we become swept up in our own darkness. When you can’t find your faith borrow someone else’s until you remember where you left your own.”
♥ Michele Shusterman, CP Daily Living 

We had a meeting with my daughters school psychologist, they feel due to her learning disabilities been so vast and varied when she turns 15 is best suited to go to a special needs school of skills, she is not academically mined and is struggling too much.  Another blow to us so we have 4 years to find a school best suited for her needs again. I just started crying felt like these challenges we have with her never ends and when i got home and looked at my beautiful daughter it just overwhelmed me how her future lies in our hands. If we want her t o succeed in life to prosper and go forth, we need to be very careful how we tread.  Later after i had taken 2 headache tablets and calmed down and sitting on the internet trying see again what school we will have to research and place her in. I realized how special my child is, how much strength she has given me to go on,. Strength to move forward in these days with big questions over her life and uncertainty around, Strength to not give up on her but always find away because she needs us, depends on us and we need to show her what strength is to get through these days . 

I've realized that she is who she is and she must be who she is and if she doesn't get a matric through the normal channels like every one else does and rather goes to a school where she can feel and touch and experience things on a greater level than most kids would ever get to do, then she is actually privileged  I need to have the strength to move her forward in the direction that will get her to her goals and not in the normal manner. Being different is Good. I need to tell her that no matter where she is, she can still be awesome every day in whatever she does and she will find the strength to finish and get where she suppose to go as long as she is true to herself .

We need to find the strength to let her be the best she can be at the same time protecting her  and allowing her to blossom letting her know that it is perfectly fine and we love her just the way she is.

You are special

You're loved just as you are.
(Ephesians 3:17-19)
You've got everything you need.
Just when you need it.
(Philippians 4:19)
You're going to make it through.
Just when you least expect it.
(Romans 8:28)

And just in case the noise of the busy and the difficult makes it a little hard to hear, listen closely - the Heart of Heaven is cheering you on and others who love you are too. ~ 

Is this not so true. Our children need to know how special they are, not just special needs because of there difficulties, but uniquely. special individuals who are beautiful just the way they are no matter what difficulties they may have. They have everything they need. The world has this way of having blinders on and it must be like this or like that. Nothing is ever just black and white. it can be neon colored or brightly spotted. They will make it through because God does not make junk and just when they least expect it or think they are on there last hope they will succeed because they are stronger more determined individuals who know that life is not easy and they have to work extra hard to get to where they need to go. Like i said before it is not the destination that counts as much as the journey getting there.

They need to listen closely to there hearts, because there are so many people, friends, parents etc who love them and are cheering them on to that finish line. Whose hearts are filled with belief and hope and love for them.

You are special not just because you have difficulties, but because God has given them other gifts and they have no idea how there lives might of touched others without them realizing it.

Make sure your child knows they special and loved just the way they are, that regardless they have all they need and when the time comes they know what will help them make it through when they least expect it, or are just about to give up. Let them know they are loved by many and regardless you are proud of them just the way they are.

To Overcome

To Over come: To succeed in a problem or difficulty

Faith will be re doing grade 4, she is not making the grade and they feel she has severe learning problems. I try and breath and take this all in. My husband and I know it is not going be easy she still has many hurdles to overcome at school, in life. I try not let all this get to me but sometimes just when i think i am fine and handle all something else happens and i try not to cry or get all emotional. I sometimes just feel numb like i just don't want to see anyone , speak to anyone cause I feel people just don't grasp the severity of what we are going through and what Faith is trying to deal with, which she hasn't even grasped yet cause she is not mature enough to handle it all.

Reggie and I made a promise to ourselves. She will overcome, she will be an success, she will make something of herself. We will not let these disabilities allow her to fail. We will not give up on her,we will not stop until she has become the best she can be. I have to tell myself this to move myself forward and sometimes it is very tiring to do this, but we go on. I don't even know if Faith will make it to matric.

To overcome - succeed in a problem or difficulty. Please realize there difficulty and their difficulty. I would never change Faith for the world. She is the reason i wake up every morning and she has opened our eyes to so much other things we would never of seen if she had not been born premature. 

Is it too much to ask as a mother that you just want your child to have opportunities that come so easy to other children. Is it too much to ask that you want to see just one thing that she doesn't struggle with, but does with ease to take the enormous pressure she has on her shoulders with everything else off a bit. Is it too much to ask that you want your child to succeed in this world and be able to live an independent life like we wish for all our kids.

I know her learning disabilities will never disappear  her general anxiety disorder she will have to handle as she gets older, her adhd she will have to learn to control , but regardless of all these we want her to OVERCOME, to SUCCEED, to PROSPER. After all she been through and still will have to go through I think she deserves it and should demand it of herself and show the world that it may take me longer but i will Overcome.

 

Anticipation

“Of all the hardships a person had to face, none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting.” 

Faith recently is been checked for her IQ in the the different levels of development and at what age she is working at to determine how to help her best . 

This game of waiting for us parents. You know what i mean every test, every checkup, every development milestone is like you holding your breath waiting for the sword to drop.You know that your child has problems but it is exhausting as every year every development holds different outcomes and you don't know what to expect and your heart just cries out thinking how to handle all of these things that the doctors  speech therapist, occupational therapist,psychologist , teachers tell you.

Every waiting in anticipation hoping someone would say something positive instead of negative. Always what she cant do, what she cant perform, what she unable to achieve and you as a parent have to look at your child in her eyes and say " You can do anything you put your mind to" with a hope at the same time you believe the same . Without her knowing all the things she is struggling with.

Faiths officially 11 years old now. She is more aware of things and just yesterday she asked me why she goes to Vista Nova. The time is coming where i have to explain every little thing she cannot do and hope that for the past 11 years we have built her confidence up enough to not let it affect her. We anguish everyday over her and at the same time know she has come along way. But that waiting that anticipation for every new thing she has to over come, every new test they want to see how far her development has come. It aches in my heart and i so wish i could just wish it all away, but that wont be wise because we have to deal with reality in order to do the best we can for her for now for tomorrow and her future.

Been a parent of a special needs child is like having your heart permanently on  a string , You not sure which way someone is 
going yank it and you always holding your breath waiting for something else to hit. Every year it has been something new for 
us from the time she was born the anticipation from her survival 
to if she would ever make it home, to been home and hoping nothing will go wrong, to wondering if she crawl or 
walk at the right age , eat at the right age,say her first word
 at the right age. Then on to school and finding how she struggles academically with her spacial that she cant balance or skip at the ages that other kids to, to finding out she has General anxiety disorder and adhd and those are challenges on there own.

The anticipation i feel will never end and all we can do is take one day at a time and thank God everyday that she is this ball of energy that shines through the darkness that we find ourselves in, that she smiles and laughs and jokes and plays and loves and feels and take every moment as it comes with a hope for the next drop of the ball to hope it may get a little bit easier for Faith and for us. But we leave all of these in Gods hands for he must have a plan and to keep us strong for every time we have to wait with anticipation for the next hurdle to overcome.

Blessings

"If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings."

Brian Tracy

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Today is my niece Tarryn birthday, tomorrow is my beautiful daughter Faith;s 11 birthday. Both have been through lot in life. Sometimes a bit too much than any kids should handle. But as I gave Tarryn her beautiful cake and gifts and saw how she has grown from the broken child she was 7 years ago and Faith who is so excited to have her sleepover party tomorrow with her friends. I truly feel blessed. Because although this trials and needs that have drained us and made us feel tired and we have to find all the energy to go on, just seeing there glow in there face and the light in there eyes i feel we have come along way and we have overcome lot of obstacles and we will still need to over come more. But i think we need to acknowledge the hurdles we have overcome. So to see Tarryn and Faith so happy and content i feel we have grown, we have gotten through lot and we are truly blessed to have kids that still laugh and smile and joke regardless of the difficulties they may or may still need to overcome.

Acknowledge all the things you have overcome with your child it keeps you going forward. it keeps you positive and you as a parent will also feel that although some things are trial and error you have done a great job if your kids are excited and smiling and happy individuals. You have taught them to be that way and that is a great blessing. We need to be excited . It is these moments that get us through the darker times and the good memories that keep us focusing on that the future can still be great,

If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.