Spontaneous decisions

I was sitting at my desk working and was over hearing my boss talking to our rep where she was talking about sending her child to High school. The different schools they went to see, why they never chose that one, why this one is great cause they have lots of sport etc etc. I felt happy for her and at the same time i felt a sadness run over me knowing i will never make such a casual decision Faith. I will never  have so many choices to choose for my child, decide who to say no or yes to. I have to fight to keep my child's education going when she turns 15. I have to find away to keep her educated as they feel she is not academically minded and must rather do a skill. I will not have so many choices to choose from and have the luxury of saying no to some and yes to others. I will have to make difficult decision for my child future her education and i cant plan way a head i have to take one year at  a time and see what may unfold.

I sat there trying not to even think so far ahead cause i knew it would just stress me out. I know we all have our own journey in this life, i just sometimes wish Faith's journey was not so complicated and difficult for her. I sometimes wonder if people realize all the decisions they make every day, the quick words they use to make them , how easy it is to come to make the decision, but with a special needs child every little thing you do from the time they are born the games they played, the places they play, the school they go to the sports they may play has a goal around it. Nothing is just for fun. You try and throw that in somewhere. The toys are educational, the play areas is to help motor skills, the school is special needs, the sport is also to help muscles, balance, motor skills etc. Everything is like a well thought out plan, research to find and buy and organised. I wish we could of just bought a stupid toy just for the fun of it. But when you have a special needs child you always thinking one step further, every play time is almost like therapy time but with Mom and Dad. 

I hope parents appreciate the random, out of the blue decisions they are able to make just for the sake of it or just for the fun of it. How precious a gift they have . How walking in a toy store you not reading behind every box to see if it will help with spatial skills, or fine motor skills. To be able to have choices of schools, and your future is an open world, wherever you want to take it.

Faith we will have to aim for as far as she is able to go, we will push her and guide her and have to help her. we will have to make some hard decisions, she will have to accept some difficult decisions  Although i feel she is able to accomplish anything she puts her mind to, it will  not be easy, it wont be spontaneous and there wont be a world of anything and everything for her to choose. It is a gift to be  able to just live life without any major obstacles and yet kids still just take that for granted. I think if they had just 1 week of a special needs child's daily struggles they would turn that corner so fast there attitude and want for life would change drastically.

I hope parents and kids really get to appreciate the freedom of the choices they have for the decisions they have over there lives. Be appreciative of the gifts you have that you take for granted each day. Our kids with special needs don't have the luxury of a world of choices or opportunities and the decisions we make for our kids have to be the right one, have to be the perfect ones and they are not random, spontaneous, they are researched and planned and stressed about.