Tears of Joy and Sadness
As Faith and I one night lay cuddled in the bed just chatting before it was her bedtime, she turned to me and said "Mom why do i have anxiety?, Why do i struggle so ?." My eyes started to fill with tears and I got this lump in my throat cause I felt like my heart was going break. I had no idea what to say to my 11 year old, what words could ever satisfy her.There are none. I held her in my arms and just said." Maybe I can explain better when you older, for now just know that you are a very special and no matter what you go through your Dad and I will always be here to help you through anything, so don't be afraid ". I cried myself to sleep that night cause my heart felt sore and I wish I could of had some solid reason to give her to make her feel more at peace, but I didn't. No psychological or scientific jargon would of helped and no explanation would she understand.
I woke up trying gain my strength and start the next morning on a positive note, especially with her anxiety we needed to be as positive as possible for her. She knows when I stress or am upset or feel sad. I got her sorted ready for the day and we have a saying a, actually two. " I will have Faith in Faith." and " Today will be a pink day". I remind her every day to say that to herself to overcome when there are times we are not around, at school feeling overwhelmed cause she cant grasp the work or on the play ground when friends are not been as nice as they should be.
My tears are sad and joyful and I pain everyday wondering what she thinks every day, how she feels every day. Will this get better or worse?. Teenage hood is around the corner and we now have to hold thumbs that depression will not come, as with anxiety disorders depression follows later.
Tenderness
Encourage
Accept
Renew
Support
My Tears need to be Tender, encourage her, accept her for who she is, renew her each day and support her always.
The Gift - Faith has shown me how to be compassionate, how to be stronger than i ever thought i could be and how to be a better mother to her each and every day
As Faith and I one night lay cuddled in the bed just chatting before it was her bedtime, she turned to me and said "Mom why do i have anxiety?, Why do i struggle so ?." My eyes started to fill with tears and I got this lump in my throat cause I felt like my heart was going break. I had no idea what to say to my 11 year old, what words could ever satisfy her.There are none. I held her in my arms and just said." Maybe I can explain better when you older, for now just know that you are a very special and no matter what you go through your Dad and I will always be here to help you through anything, so don't be afraid ". I cried myself to sleep that night cause my heart felt sore and I wish I could of had some solid reason to give her to make her feel more at peace, but I didn't. No psychological or scientific jargon would of helped and no explanation would she understand.
I woke up trying gain my strength and start the next morning on a positive note, especially with her anxiety we needed to be as positive as possible for her. She knows when I stress or am upset or feel sad. I got her sorted ready for the day and we have a saying a, actually two. " I will have Faith in Faith." and " Today will be a pink day". I remind her every day to say that to herself to overcome when there are times we are not around, at school feeling overwhelmed cause she cant grasp the work or on the play ground when friends are not been as nice as they should be.
My tears are sad and joyful and I pain everyday wondering what she thinks every day, how she feels every day. Will this get better or worse?. Teenage hood is around the corner and we now have to hold thumbs that depression will not come, as with anxiety disorders depression follows later.
Tenderness
Encourage
Accept
Renew
Support
My Tears need to be Tender, encourage her, accept her for who she is, renew her each day and support her always.
The Gift - Faith has shown me how to be compassionate, how to be stronger than i ever thought i could be and how to be a better mother to her each and every day
