Medication issue Pros and Cons

The morning comes we all wake up, get breakfast ready and always remember faith medication and stand by and watch as she takes it. The same thing every morning. I still get upset at the thought that my child at 11 is on medication that for her to function properly concentrate and not become to anxious a tablet has to help her. Then on the other hand when i see the difference in her and what she can achieve and how she behaves when she is not on it i am thankful. I think there are pro's and cons to everything in life and so too with our kids and there medication. Faith is a handful if she doesn't have it. She so busy all the time, loud and gets irritated and upset very quickly for small things. It is tiring for us and we try and not give her on the weekend even though we know she will be an handful, but we want to give her a break just to be who she is without anything changing her. She not a bad child or destructive just very on the go and i feel if i had 1% of her energy i would be able to get through so much more .

The daily routine for her medication i realize is so important and although we sigh every time she has to take it we realize how it is for her well being and functioning as a person. The day the psychologist told me Faith had to go on anti anxiety medication i actually cried at home . This is not normal it is not the way a child is suppose to get through life, but i slowly had to get use to the fact that nothing is normal or should i say the world's way of normal when it comes to Faith. She doesn't like tablets so i literally have to stand there and watch her swallow it cause i have found a few tucked in the couch. I cant blame her she is wondering the same as we are why oh why must i take this.? 

The Cons

1. She doesn't sleep well - Solution bought a calm CD we put on when she goes to bed

2. lack of appetite - Put nice but healthy and a few not so healthy treats in to want her to eat.

The Pros

1. Performs better at school 

2. Less anxious

3. Not so fidgety

4. Concentrates better

5. Able to function day to day tasks

You see the difference ! there are always pro's and con's in everything in life. The issue is does the pro's out weigh the con's and if so then there is always a way to make the con's not so bad, like us buying a calm CD that makes her relax and fall asleep better and to make sure she eats give her food that she will want to eat. Not to mention good exercise and change in diet. These all go hand in hand otherwise the medication can not work as effectively when you giving chocolate or coke to a child with adhd or coffee to a child with anxiety disorder, Certain foods aggravate the situation.

As i have said before Research to your child's special needs are so vital otherwise your house will be in constant chaos and you will feel powerless and you as a parent need to be in control of the situation and be the one to guide them. I have realized with Faith she gets so use to us sorting things out she gets lazy instead of sorting the problem out.

Please understand one day you will not be there . you need to give them the routine, eating habits guidance and ways to solve problems so they can be functioning , independent young adults in society that are also contributing in society even though they take medication. Anything can be managed as long as it can be managed well and we are the stepping stone for them to know how to achieve these life changes that they will most likely have to use for the rest of there lives..

Welcome to Holland

Hi All

I want you read this first. For a change i'm showing a picture before i write, but after reading i think you get why. Please read first then read below the picture.




Wow is this not the most beautiful words and explanation been a parent of a special need parent. It is all so true that there comes a time that we need to let go off what we thought would happen in an ideal world and realize what is happening now in our lives. For as much as there is so much we deal with we must not forget to enjoy all the beautiful moments and what been a special need parent shows us and we would never experienced it if our child did not have special needs. it is different, it is new , it is a whole new experience and i know i have learned and experienced so much in the last 11 years so far with Faith i would never of experienced and although there has been rough times, challenges and hurdles to overcome i have seen beauty and compassion and kindness and pure joy and happiness and appreciation for life and moments and memories that we all too often take for granted. This picture above i hope will encourage you to embrace been a parent that has a child with special needs and focus on that and not of what could of been otherwise you are missing out on the journey and the wonder and the great gift it can offer you.

"The Most beautiful things in life can not be seen or touched, but can only be felt with the heart."

Another inspirational video by Orla kelly please view and like http://youtu.be/bKzkGTmx_UA

I end with this ':Children with special needs hold the key to the pure joy of what life is all about."

Lonely

Hi All

Been a long week and debated for a while what my next blog was going be about. In my mind I keep thinking about friends and family and understanding and sometimes feel so alone on this journey my husband and i are going through with Faith. I know, i know there family and friends support and we genuinely appreciate it all.  Yes we hear all will be fine, she strong ,but i feel myself withdrawing more and more because I'm so tired of trying explain the magnitude of Faith future that lies in our hands and the pressure to make sure she is able to get there. We take one day at a time , that's all we can do. I'm passed the stage of explaining Faith situation now cause i have realised no one fully understands the strength and the determination and the will you have to have as a parent of a special needs child to keep going each day not sure what else will prop up. 

So Reg and i decided our main focus is Faith and you either with us or you gone, i cant be worried about what other people think anymore or what they say or try and encourage, cause frankly i don't have time, I'm too worried researching ways to help her when she has to leave school and we have to help her continue to study and get an education and she has non verbal handicap and is better verbally and trying figure out how to change things, so she can get an education, get a job, be independent one day. As parents you don't think of this when your child is 11, but for us it is a reality we have to plan way ahead, find out, get info to make sure all this will works out.

Sometimes it can be very lonely, not really having someone understand the enormous emotional, physical and mental drain it takes from you besides working and the normal stresses life brings. I have a friend in Australia her daughter is also special needs and how i wish she was in Cape Town so we can support each other more. It's like 2 lonely souls on the opposite side of the worlds trying to support via every social network cause they know the emotions involved.

You know that saying.' you don't know how strong you are until strong is all you can be' It actually becomes easier not to talk about Faith, not to mention the every day struggles and just rather carry on by yourself cause if only your only stress was my child got a D for a test i would be jumping up and down.

These Blogs actually give me peace and healing and it is the one time i have to myself to shout out and scream my frustration and pain without actually shouting out physically.

I know God has a plan, i know we must believe and we do. I hold on to all the fun and laughter we have and the special moments cause i know those times are the ones that will make our family bond stronger and will keep us going through the days of darkness the ones past and the ones still to come. That's why although been a parent of a special need child can be a lonely journey , i encourage you to reach out to whoever you can and that's why my Blog has become so important to me, the lovely messages , the like posts and the people following me keep me going each day. So thank you and keep reading Faith journey and if i have helped to inspire or help just one child or parent then it has been worth it.

 Please see this You tube video on been a special need parent it is short , but beautiful  http://youtu.be/T7TC7xBjVqE

Progress not Perfection

Progress - Forward or onward movement toward a destination.

Perfection - The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

We as parents of special need kids need to realize that we never aim for perfection but reward for progress for our kids are on a different time line and they will never perfect what they do, due to all the difficulties they have. We need to realize that as long as our child is moving forward, steadily progressing she is accomplishing and making her own life or developmental line and this is enough cause to celebrate. 

We have never ever expected perfection from Faith, all we have ever asked her is to try her best at all she does and if she has done that then we as parents can not ask more. Life is difficult enough without us putting our expectations on them especially seen we are not in there shoes. Progress or onward movement towards a destination that is all they need to do no matter how long it takes is besides the point.

All we can do as parents is steer them in the right direction and i think along the way we ourselves would of progressed emotionally and mentally. I have gained so much knowledge that i never would of obtained having a baby born full term. I have become so more tuned in to emotions and feelings and understanding how Faith sees the world, how she progresses each day that i know when she has had a bad day or a good day, when she has gotten over a fear that before she was too petrified to overcome, when she has struggled with something for so long and then suddenly has grasped it. Every little progress she has made from birth and will continue to make we have acknowledged and praised and it may sound stupid, but for Faith it is the world. Parents acceptance that it is OK to not be a perfectionist in academic results or not come first in a race is a big thing. They hold us high in regard and there anxiousness can stem from that when we put too much pressure on them and they not sure if they can live up to our expectations.

So progress and not perfection because Faith has not realized how her life story who you all read all over the world has already blessed and inspired people to stay strong and move forward ,regardless academic difficulties she has already accomplished so much she just cannot see it yet. We are proud every day that she progresses in the right direction with love and support. 

Please remember not all friends will understand what you go through every day your routines, medication, calm cd, homework time that is tiring , and that is OK because this Journey is not theirs it is yours with your child and people that want to be part of it will either be supportive or move on and maybe that is better.

AS LONG AS YOUR CHILD IS PROGRESSING THAT IS ALL THAT COUNTS .

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.

Benjamin Franklin

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/benjaminfr387287.html#sFdBmmMmye43vJQx.99 

Encouragement - Famous people that had and have special needs

Do not be dismayed. I know getting your kids to adulthood is a full time job and you never know what the outcome will be when they adults one day. But i want to encourage you to believe and hold on to hope , faith and love and know there is light at the end of the tunnel as long as you never give up on your child.

Today i want to enlighten you on some Famous people that changed the world and they had special needs.

I hope there stories may encourage you to keep on fighting the fight and never give up. Our kids need to know we are always there for them.

Alexander Graham Bell –Bell invented the telephone, but struggled with 
traditional schooling. It’s believed that he had some form of learning 
disability, possibly dyslexia.

Napoleon Bonaparte –Napoleon’s hypersensitivity to touch and his military 
strategic genius are two of the many symptoms that have led some modern 
scholars to suggest that he was a high-functioning autistic.

Richard Branson–A billionaire businessman, Branson credits his business 
intuition and unique perspectives to his early struggles with dyslexia, which 
affects the way he visualizes words.

Erin Brockovich–Brockovich is a former legal clerk whose success in 
building a case against illegal groundwater contamination led to a major 
motion picture starring Julia Roberts. Brockovich is dyslexic.

Terry Bradshaw–The NFL host and former player was diagnosed with 
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Cher – Cher is one of the most iconic performers, singers and actresses in the 
world. She has a form of dyslexia that makes it difficult to remember numbers 
or to perform basic mathematics.

Agatha Christie – Christie was the most famous mystery novelist of her time 
and developed a rich writing style that has impacted almost every mystery 
writer of the 20th and 21st centuries. Christie had dysgraphia, a learning 
disability that affected her ability to understand written words.

Tom Cruise – Cruise is among the most recognizable actors in the world. He 
has dyslexia and has spoken publicly about his disability.

Walt Disney –While no hard evidence exists, many scholars believe that 
Disney suffered from dyslexia or a related disorder due to his difficulties in 
school. Disney eventually dropped out of high school and pursued a career as 
an artist.

Albert Einstein– Einstein’s parents once thought that he was mentally 
retarded due to his odd habits and difficulties in school. If he were born today, 
Einstein would probably be diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a mild form 
of autism.

Thomas Edison– Edison is believed to have had dyslexia and possibly ADHD. 
His mother took him out of school at an early age, and Edison was homeschooled. He developed a voracious appetite for reading and made major scientific breakthroughs with his unusual methodology.

Bill Gates – Some autism experts have suggested that the head of Microsoft 

has Asperger’s, although testing has never been performed

Suzanne Somers – Somers had a learning disability which led to poor 
performance in school and an inability to understand written language. She’s 

most famous for her role on the sitcom, “Three’s Company”.

Robin Williams –Williams is a comedian and actor, famous for his roles in 
“Mrs. Doubtfire,” “Good Will Hunting” and dozens of other films. He has been 
diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) which affected 

his education and his ability to memorize scripts.

I encourage you to show this blog to your kids as well, so they may know
 HOPE IS NEVER LOST.

I know there is a place for me somewhere out there.

I am a child with Special needs.

I see the world in a different way, don't Judge me
I am sensitive to things, don't hurt my feelings
I do not understand everything straight away, don't laugh at me
I may not be able to play like you do, don't shut me out
I may not excel academically like you do, don't look down on me
I do fear things that seem stupid to you, don't disregard my fears

Let me show you my world:

Let me show you how i see the world
Let me show you been sensitive is a gift of compassion for others needs
Let me show you that not understanding everything straight away doesn't make you smarter
Let me make you understand that not been able to do certain things is no reason to shut me out
Let me show you that a person is not defined by how well they do at school
Let me show you that if you could feel how i feel when i have fears that you would not call me stupid.

I may be different but that is ok, cause i am taking a slower route on my journey in life and on the way i am experiencing all the things people rush without seeing, feeling and touching each day. I learn to appreciate each day and be thankful for little achievements not just big ones. I have been taught what true love, compassion,care and kindness is and in so doing can give that back to someone else that may need it.  Focus and build on what i can do not what i cant do and accept me and for me as i accept you for you. Because i know

I know there is a place for me somewhere out there.

A Look Inside

A Look inside at been a Special Need Mom

This Blog is directed totally at all the special need mom's out there. We go through each day never knowing what it might bring and still with belief in our heart that we have planted those seeds in our child to help them become the special person God created. That through all the rough days. the tiresome therapies and medication given religiously every day, the hugs and reassurance when our kids get anxious or overwhelmed, the nights the nightmares may hit or they feel like there lives are crumbling we carry on without a word, without any one saying  " You are special". So i am here to tell you that you are special you are also a Gift

Your child is wherever they are because of the tiresome effort and strength and courage you put in every day, waking up and never knowing if it will be a good or bad day. All you know is that you have to get up, smile and continue because that is what Special need mom;s do.

Look in side your self and you will see a strength and beauty you never thought you had, endurance when you felt you couldn't go on and Love that God has blessed you with the sensitivity for your special needs child.

“My mother sat me down and said, ...you are beautiful to me but must know that you are beautiful for yourself. You should also be aware that true beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which means that how beautiful you are to other people is always going to be subjective to who is looking at you at that time, and since you will always be looking at yourself first, you should find your own beauty and feel good about who you are.” She went on to tell me that I needed to take the time to identify those things that I found to be beautiful about myself but also celebrate what I thought was weird or unusual because those were the special things that God had given to me that made me different from everybody else. I learned how to appreciate, embrace, and enhance those special things so that they would shine rather than be hidden...We learned to love and identify with what made us uniquely beautiful.”

Strength

“During times of great vulnerability and challenge, we are ironically called upon to access tremendous mental strength, hope and faith often against a tide of our own despair. It’s not easy to do this, but it is vital to our ability to support our forward momentum, lest we become swept up in our own darkness. When you can’t find your faith borrow someone else’s until you remember where you left your own.”
♥ Michele Shusterman, CP Daily Living 

We had a meeting with my daughters school psychologist, they feel due to her learning disabilities been so vast and varied when she turns 15 is best suited to go to a special needs school of skills, she is not academically mined and is struggling too much.  Another blow to us so we have 4 years to find a school best suited for her needs again. I just started crying felt like these challenges we have with her never ends and when i got home and looked at my beautiful daughter it just overwhelmed me how her future lies in our hands. If we want her t o succeed in life to prosper and go forth, we need to be very careful how we tread.  Later after i had taken 2 headache tablets and calmed down and sitting on the internet trying see again what school we will have to research and place her in. I realized how special my child is, how much strength she has given me to go on,. Strength to move forward in these days with big questions over her life and uncertainty around, Strength to not give up on her but always find away because she needs us, depends on us and we need to show her what strength is to get through these days . 

I've realized that she is who she is and she must be who she is and if she doesn't get a matric through the normal channels like every one else does and rather goes to a school where she can feel and touch and experience things on a greater level than most kids would ever get to do, then she is actually privileged  I need to have the strength to move her forward in the direction that will get her to her goals and not in the normal manner. Being different is Good. I need to tell her that no matter where she is, she can still be awesome every day in whatever she does and she will find the strength to finish and get where she suppose to go as long as she is true to herself .

We need to find the strength to let her be the best she can be at the same time protecting her  and allowing her to blossom letting her know that it is perfectly fine and we love her just the way she is.